third time's a charm

i'm scheduled to go for school on the 13th of april in abu dhabi. and yes, this is the third time i've been scheduled for the same school. the first two times were cancelled for unfortunate reasons. and the second cancellation left me so deep in the gutters that i was almost drowned by it.

right now, the only way for me to get past whatever i'm feeling right now, is to get through school. well, that's what i think anyway. get through it, get it out of the way. i've been stagnant at this stage for way too long, and it's gotta end.

this is not positive thinking, mind you. this is aggressiveness that is bordering on desperation. get through school. that's my goal. that's my light at the end of the tunnel. for now.

this picture that i took while on duty in oman seems to suit my feelings very well in this moment. a new day, a new start.

emotions

what makes us sad?

is it happiness? if we do not know the meaning of happiness, how will we be able to define sadness?

how about disappointment?

without any expectations, is there a way for us to still be disappointed? aren't we always disappointed when something does not match our expectations?

at the same time, when expectations are actually met or in the rare cases exceeded, aren't we filled with joy, relief and a sense of accomplishment?

but how long does that last before we set ourselves another set of goals, a higher level of expectation? and how long does it take before we expect too much of our own abilities? before we fall at our very own expectations?

plenty of questions and i've got plenty more where that came from. all questions, no answers. and i've stopped looking.

the core of humanity

they say humans are basically good with the potential for evil.

i say humans thrive on self-pity and anger and hatred and revenge.

how does that add up?

humans are humans. no more, no less.

miniature collection

it was unintentional but once it got started, i couldn't stop... =)

my first bottle of miniature wine was "hardys nottage hill - cabernet sauvignon" - a gift from jenny on xmas of 2001 if my memory serves me right...

meanwhile for the miniature liquor, it was during a trip to langkawi (around 2006, i guess) with a few of my uni mates...

right now, my miniature wine collection includes:

Fortant (France)
- Sauvignon Blanc 2002
- Merlot 2004
- Chardonnay 2004
- Cabernet Sauvignon 2003

Just (France)
- Chardonnay
- Sauvignon Blanc

Jindalee (Australia)
- Shiraz 2007

Redvale – Rivergum (South Eastern Australia)
- Chardonnay Colombard 2002
- Shiraz Cabernet 2002

Hardys – Nottage Hill (South Australia)
- Chardonnay 2006
- Cabernet Shiraz 2001

Carmen (Chile)
- Cabernet Sauvignon 2005
- Chardonnay 2006

Sunrise (Chile)
- Chardonnay 2003

Porta (Chile)
- Merlot 2003

Carlo Rossi (US)
- California Red
- California White

Blue Nun (Germany)
- Gold Edition
- Qualitatswain 2003
- Merlot 2003

Mateus (Portugal)
- Rose

187 by Paul Sapin (Collection Series)

Copper’s Bay (New Zealand)
- Sauvignon Blanc

River Bay (South Africa)
- Ruby Cabernet

Lizard (Australia)
- Shiraz Cabernet

Chilean (Chile)
- Cabernet Merlot

while the miniature liquor collection has:

Absolut Vodka
Absolut Apeach
Absolut Ruby Red
Absolut Pears
Absolut Mandrin
Absolut Raspberri
Absolut Kurant
Absolut Vanilla
Absolut Citron

Remy Martin VSOP
Otard VSOP

Bombay Sapphire Dry Gin

Bacchus Shot
- Cowboy
- Cowgirl

- my proud collection of miniature wine and liquor-

it's kinda tough getting those miniature wine as we have limited choices here in malaysia. and they dun really sell miniature wine in duty free shops. so i just have to be patient and wait. i would like to get more of those series like the "187 by paul sapin"...

in the meantime, i would be on the look out for more exotic french series...

- 187 by paul sapin -

and if getting miniature wine is tough, miniature liquor is almost impossible here in malaysia. so far, all my miniature liquors have come from duty free islands - langkawi and labuan. i've never seen them anywhere else!

the collection of the absolut series is pretty much completed (i actually have 9 bottles although there's only 8 in the pic above, the 9th bottle - absolut pears, was in hiding at the time the pic was taken). although my collection started out with only wine but these little juniors are just so cute i couldn't resist the temptation... =)

my next target would be the more classic liquors...

- one big happy 'absolut' family-

as you can obviously see from the pictures, i have a few bottles of liquor at the back too. i'm planning to have the complete johnnie walker series - red label, green label, black label, gold label and blue label. i once saw this collectible series where they have all 5 bottles in a nice wooden box but it is so darn bloody expensive! and that was in between the full sized liquor and a miniature - not too big, not too small... which is too bad, coz if it were a tiny bit smaller, i would have bought it...

in the meantime, i should start reading up about wine and stuff. i dun wanna be collecting miniatures blindly and not know a single thing about my collection. that would seem a tad bit silly on my part...

ok then, a simple post that's suppose to double up as an inventory for me has become really, really lenghty. i'll just stop here for now. more updates when my collection has any new member(s)...

*hint hint* - a couple of bottles of miniature wine/ liquor would make a really good present for me on any occasion =)

brace yourselves…

dear malaysians, the title says it all. at the time of posting, change seems to be on the horizon. as the result of the election is being announced, shocking news came one after another - several strong, “sure-win” candidates lost their seats by extreme majorities. i do hope that malaysia as a nation proves to be a matured democratic country to embrace this change and to take all the unexpected result as the voice of its people saying that something is wrong with the way the country is run right now…

with that said, i am pleased that the ruling party was given a run this time around instead of the usual stroll in the park for them. with louder opposition voices in the parliament, it does seem that the people of all races will be better protected…

btw, i am surprised that so many of my friends assumed that i would not vote. i would like to say that, just because i do not voice out my opinion or show much interest, does not mean that i do not have an opinion in the first place. and the scanned ticket below is proof enough that i performed my duties and responsibilities as a proud citizen of this nation… =)

new beginning

it's belated. i know. third month of the year and i'm talking about a new beginning.

anyway, it's something that i needed. i need a fresh start. for the past couple of months, i've been down in the dumps. depression seems too serious a word but i'm not too far off, i'm sure.

having this injury, forcing this break on me is worse than i ever expected it to be. at first, i thought i could treat it as a long break from work. i thought it's an opportunity for me to sit back and relax. how very, very wrong.

all this injury has done for me is impair my sight and shatter my confidence to pieces.

you see, i was in a hurry. all through life, i've always been in a hurry to get somewhere, to be someone. now this episode has put a two month break in my career just when i thought it was actually going somewhere. and it sucks. the worse part? i don't know how long will this last.

anyway, that’s not what this blog is all about. this blog is about a new beginning right? so i’m gonna try and forget all of this disappointment, and try to make things work for me… perhaps, it’s too early to actually claim a new beginning, but i’ll give it a try.

ps: i found out something surprising in this period of time. when i started this blog, i can only write when i’m depressed, frustrated, sad (you get the idea, right?)… my whole blog has a negative aura because of that. but with this incident, i just found out that i could not write in that mood anymore – my blog has taken a positive turn!

i shall end this post with a picture of the kauthar dessert in oman. despite the injury, it was a great experience to be there.